Samsung Eternity Review.

Let me explain something to you. A cell phone is very, very important to me. I text a lot. I make a lot of calls. You can only imagine how critical of a cellphone I can be. So last Christmas i got this Samsung Eternity. You've probably seen it. The revolutionary, touch screen, I-Phone killer. Surely this huge leap in cellular design will wow its users, right? Wrong. Oh so wrong. I'll pick this bitch apart piece by piece.

First of all the appearance. Oh wow, shiny. What a pretty touch screen! I hope you like crap, because this "shiny" touch screen will remain unscratched for almost 30 minutes. After having the phone for 9 months the screen looks like it was thrown into a blender, or rubbed up against a sandpaper sheet for ten straight hours.

Moving right along, the texting. For the love of God, can anything be this bad. Look, it was a nice try. When the phone is held upright its a regular cellphone keyboard, but when turned sideways it becomes a computer style QWERTY keyboard. Well have I mentioned that the keys are literally 2 cms by 2 cms and they're right up against each other. If I just continued to type a rational thought without stopping to correct mistakes it would look like this: "Het wiou;d yop likrt to graf sope Taco Bel;?" I know what you're thinking. Well, Kameron, just use T9! Listen here you smartass. I'll use T9 when AT&T hires someone whose not Asian or four years old to arrange the in phone dictionary. Here's a short list of words T9 made up: Yoi, An't, Ommorrow, and of course esterday.

Last but not least the extras. There's literally one game on this bad boy, and i hope you like dice. Because thats it. Just a pair of dice that roll. No rules. No score. Just dice.

Welp that just about wraps it up. If you hate texting, logic, and the English language, but you love dice, this phone is for you. Otherwise, get something else. Congratulations Eternity, you suck.

Zest Review

Today, I discovered this bottle of Zest Ocean Energy Shower Gel. Now, I've tried many a shower gel, but all of them leave my body smelling like a cranberry flavored dumpster mere hours after using it. Axe is the best shower gel you say? I should punch you in the mouth. That stuff is like bottled frustration. Sure it smells great in the bottle, but how does that matter. Made with cactus extract? What the hell is that? And why is it in my shower gel? If I wanted to lather cactus all over my body... Actually i would never want that. Axe, you suck. Zest on the other hand, well let me give you a play by play. I opened up the bottle and take a whiff. Dear sweet baby jeebus. Is there crack in this bottle? I don't believe I've smelled something quite this unbelievable before. So great, what else is new? A good smelling shower gel. Big deal. Well, I use the stuff and now its been a whole day. After working in Chuck E. Cheese, washing a house, cutting potato leaves, and being generally active all day long, I still smell like a bed of roses. No joke. If you don't go buy a bottle of this stuff asap, you're dumb. So, in conclusion, Zest, Congratulations. You rock.

Intro

Hello Ladies and Gents. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kameron, and if you walked from one side of the earth to the other looking for the most sarcastic person ever, you'd find this guy. A young, 17 year old clown with a shi tzu named Mojo. That's right. I'm just a regular guy turned rap star, with a hunger for adventure and beef jerky.

"So why are you writing a blog Kameron?" you ask yourself. Well here i am sitting in the most comfortable rocking chair in the world, when I think why don't i help others by reviewing things I own. Completely random things mind you. And i think you'll appreciate it. So sit back, relax, buckle your seatbelts, and enjoy the ride.